Yngwie’s Unsolicited Opinion

03
    That beer’s not going to pour itself, Mom.

 

Hey, I’m Yngwie Meowmsteen – one of the biggest, baddest, most rock n roll East Vancouver rescue tabbies you might ever hope to meet. “Up all night, sleep all day”? You’re basically looking at the inspiration for that song right here, just sayin’.

Soooo, my personal assistant Adrianna’s got this crazy idea that she’s apparently telling the whole wide interwebs about (along with pretty much everything else she’s ever done in life). It’s called PetFam, which she tells me is “an online pet sitting exchange finder that helps loving, trustworthy pet owners safely connect with each other to swap free, in home care”.  Ooh. Fancy.

Now, I gotta say, personally, it’s not my favorite idea in the world. I mean, how about just sticking around and doing the jobs you signed up for when you rescued me from dock yards, fleas and starvation? IE. feeding me off your plate, nonstop glamour shots, endless cheek scratches, paying me specific and detailed compliments in kitty-baby talk every five minutes, etc. etc. etc. (I’m still waiting for that custom leather cat jacket I asked for six months ago. Chop, chop, lady.)

 

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Whatever. I know there’s not much I can do about how often this human seems to need to get out of town. (Yet. The plotting continues.) In the mean time, I guess I have to admit she and her circle of free pet sitters all got a pretty decent gig going for keeping us happy, entertained and snuggled, right in our own homes while they’re away. And apparently they’re sooo liberated by it all, they want every other weirdo human feeling hopelessly chained to their assumed pain-in-the-ass pets to know about it. Read on if you, too, would love to run off without your precious babies. Go ahead! Join the rest of the jerks it seems to be working so wonderfully for – here, let me help you get started.

 

Aww heyyy, man… Sorry for the aggro vibe.

07

Must have missed a nap.

 

Alright, fine. If I’m being perfectly honest, PetFam’s not a bad idea. From here on the ground –  y’know, as opposed to the top of the fridge – it’s actually seems to be working pretty darn well. So what can I say? Happy owner, happy life amiright!

Who are we kidding. No one owns a cat. Ha. Ha.

 

 

PS. Sign up here if you haven’t had quite enough of all my bad humoured cattitude, and follow my adventures on Instagram at @petfamgram! Just remember… play with the cat, you might get scratched. Meee yow.